bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
