You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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