I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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