i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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