Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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