he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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