it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
