I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
