what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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