Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Send help, water and tortillas.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
