..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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