The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
