I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
