Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
