Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
