I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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