allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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