So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
