Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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