on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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