stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
its not stalking. its research.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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