I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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