i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
