Kiss
Puke
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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