I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
