Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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