Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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