Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
