Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
