somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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