is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
