The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
