How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
