I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I had to cum in my sink.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
