I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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