best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
