1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
