clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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