i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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