Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
