Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
