I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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