morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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