Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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