Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
