I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
