He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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