im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
