I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
