hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
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apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
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Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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