Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
