porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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