she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
