On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize