I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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