look no pants
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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