I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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