I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
