Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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