I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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