i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
