I cannot find my penis.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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