I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
