dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize