Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
