I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
