I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
